Late Nights With Elly and Caz

Night 12 - RED CARD
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Night 5 - Oh My Tummy Hurts
When Elly is Alone
Caz on Codeine
Night 6 - Moon
Night 7 - Shoe Size in the Playhouse
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Night 8 - Everything's On Fire
Night 9 - McKay's Anatomy
Night 10 - Beware the Hand of MSN
Night 11 - FAIL Nights
Night 12 - RED CARD
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The Inbox OF DOOM

World Cup 2010 - Late Nights style!

omg some of these soccer people are like YOU KILLED ME OMG GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY LEG YOU BROKE MY LEG YOU _ *pause* .... i'm the only one out here …

it's The Dive
a sacred art
one must slow down time enough to pull exactly the right grimace
a frozen howl with the eyes closed


and a weird jerking convulsion of pain
very unmanly

it is hardest performance art on the planet

and somewhere MAXIMUS is just – glaring

these modern men are all convulsions and no fighting spirit!

...omg...australia...somuchfail

I think a herd of cattle would have better luck
or even... chickens


at least they would have earned their red cards

this is true! one must not put a half-hearted effort into their illegal tackles

you may as well earn them
snap the other play in half or something
i'd like to see tealc play
*uses staff weapon*
RED CARD
 
zat .. first shot = yellow, second = red, third.....
dotdotdot
 
well the third got the ref
 
XD
 
*stargate poses as goal*
*vaporises ball*
team: . . .
 
Nuby: Noooooooo BINGO!
 
Ra - goldkeeper : *inspects fingernails*
 
*Nuby flounders past in high heels and hits him*
Ra: *HAND DEVICE GLOWING*
GT: I think he chipped a gold nail...
 
ref: YELLOW CARD
 
Caz: He didn't exactly use it though, did he?
Rodney: You're defending him?!
 
*replay*
*hand device glows*
*nuby falls to the ground writhing in pain*
 
*a ball falls from the black hole*
Oma: It was done with such art.
Beckett: Aye, a perfect 10.
Rodney: What th - no the - this isn't ice hockey!
Jack: Ya think?
 
elly: wtf are you all doing
 
Teal'c: It would seem that they are in fact doing... nothing.
Ra: I resent that.
Nuby: I resent you.
 
ba'al: *lounges*
 
*Ra dives on top of him and punches repeatedly*
er.
 
elly: why is the ball pink
 
Beckett: Why is Ra on Ba'al?
Caz: I WAS TOO LATE IN TYPING THAT
Rodney: Wait, why is Carson alive?
Beckett: Your point is... *menacing*
 
elly: i'm – disturbed...
 
Ba'al: If you do not get off me, you will have to try out for the women's team.
Ra: *meep*
GT: Ok, there's just some things you never should cut off.
 
Osiris: ... i'm not sure where i'm supposed to be
 
*a map floats from the ceilling and has YOU ARE HERE printed next to a funny dark smudge*
Black Hole: BURRRRP
Rodney: Are you guys actually going to black some football or are you just there to look pretty?
Nuby: You think I look pretty?
Ra: :O
Rodney: :@
 
elly: black some football?
 
Rodney: I - wait - what -
 
ba'al; *paws at pink ball*
 
*Oma picks up a white ball and sprays black patches on it*
Oma: Ready!
Ra: That ball is not world cup standard!
Caz: Would you like to donate one of your own then?
GT: His aren't up to that standard...
Rodney: ]:)
 
elly: FIFA would be appalled at this
rodney: we fed that to the black hole AGES ago
elly: you cna't feed an organisation to a black hole
 
*Black Hole spits out a date*
Rodney: Score!
GT: *eats date*
Oma: That's all that was left
Beckett: (devil)
 
nuby: *streaks through field*
 
Caz: Security team to the midfield!
*Ra raises hand device*
Beckett: This is no' handball, son!
Caz: Keeps your hands off the ball at all times
Zelenka: This means you, OMA!
Oma: (mm)
 
ball: *flies at - the wrong goal*
nuby: *innocence*
 
*the goal laughs at ba'al*
 
ba'al: I'm conquering you
 
Goal: I will demolecularise you.
 
ba'al: *quiver*
 
All: ...
Rodney: :O
Nuby: Dirty.
 
ba'al: ... my material of choice is leather
ba'al: my hobies aare torture and sex - you figure it out
 
Goal: In that order?
 
jack: um - stargate is rated... lower than that
sam: *shrug* it's canon
 
Oma: I seem to remember you enjoying at least one of those, General O'Neill.
Zelenka: WHAT - WHEN DID THIS -
Rodney: Ba'al captured him, duh.
Jack: It isn't what it sounds like.
 
elly: enjoy is a strong word
elly: most people ENDURE you
rodney: dirty
 
Nuby: Mmm.
Ra: *moves away*
 
replicator: this is so wrong
 
*soccer ball skids towards replicator*
 
*a cashew eats it*
elly: wtf in what universe do cashews have teath?
 
*cashew explodes*
*many cashews form*
Caz: Oh shi-
 
replicator: SWEEEET
 
*cashews bow to replicator*
*GT hides under table*
Nuby: OW! Watch where you're hiding!
GT: Sorry.
Ra: Quit touching me.
GT: *not sorry* Hey I did not - *shakes fist at narrator in futile resistance*
Cashews: There is no one to stop us this time.
 
crowd: *confused*
 
*the lights go out*
 
ba'al: i know you're all looking at me
rodney: we're not looking at anything genius
 
Ra: I am looking at the ceiling.
Random Voice: QUIT TOUCHING ME
Ra: That was not me.
*muffled thumps*
*Nuby squeals*
Ba'al: That was me. (devil)
 
*wormhole forms*
 
*more cashews appear*
 
*thor beams in*
 
Thor: KNEEL BEFORE THOR.
*darkness again*
GT: We're totally kneeling...
 
elly: how many times AMBIVILENT OVERLORDS
 
Zelenka: Ano, kill one and another appears. If not, then you are the head of the science department instead...
Rodney: |>:(
Zelenka: Did you ever ask yourself Rodney, who put the lemon juice in your drink bottle, hm?
Oma: *preens* They grow up so fast
 
ra: *starts building a pyramid out of spectators*
 
Caz: ??
Beckett: They are preparing to do the Tau'ri-an Wave
GT: Is that like Mexican...
Oma: Yes, it burns on the way out.
Zelenka: *facepalm*
 
pink football: *unloved*
replicator: *love*
 
cashews: :(
 
replicator: ... but i love you both...
elly: NO!
elly: NO INANIMATE OBJECT THREESOMES
 
The Chair: FOURSOME!
Caz: Dear God.
Rodney: Why can't I look away?
GT: This is like that Tetris porn fanfic I read.
All: …
 
ref: RED CARD!
 
Nuby: *eats it*
 
ref: *appalled*
 
Nuby: *eats ref*
 
elly: *blinks*
rodney: why don't you get a leash for that thing
 
Ra: the leash is too civil
Nuby: *urp*
Ra: *shifty*
 
ba'aL: I have – things
 
Caz: *sideways glance* Things?
 
elly: HUSH
rodney: *SHOCK*
elly: you were there.......
 
Rodney: When did this -
GT: So that's what the chloroform was for...
 
rating: *orbits*
 
Nuby: *eats it*
 
ra: *glows*
targate: *jealousy!*
 
Stargate: Activate me. (angel)
Ra: with pleasure (devil)
 
ba'al: AND YOU THINK I"M WRONG
 
Rodney: I think I should cover my eyes
Stargate: If there is pleasure involved, then we have a long way to go...
Nuby: :)
 
elly: ........................
 
Rodney: *peeks through fingers*
 
GT: drinks?
 
Caz: I - this - YES I WANT A MCKAY ON THE ROCKS QUICK
 
GT: sorry - cake or death?
 
Beckett: Ye should not be so concerned with McKay's rocks.
Caz: As opposed to yours? *to GT* Give me DEATH.
Oma: Slow down we've got all night.
Caz: Not really.
Oma: I wasn't talking to you. (devil)
Zelenka: *lacks clothing*
 
GT: well, we're - you're supposed to pick CAKE
 
Caz: *suspicious* why what's in the cake
 
GT: nothing - there is no cake
 
Fork: There is no spoon.
Caz: I must sleep.
I mean, I really need sleep
 
elly: me too - really really
 
*Beckett advances*
Caz: RED CARD :D
Beckett: What'd I do?
Caz: ... you survived >_>
Nuby: NASTY cliffhanger
Zelenka: *still has no clothes*

Beckett turned to the camera and said,
"Are you sure you're immune?"