Night 8 - Everything's On Fire

lol Beckett is da devil

*cuddles evil devil beckett*

devil worshiper

i is not

I am a Beckett worshipper

*pokes Beckett’s horns*

*pokes Beckett's horns again*

Beckett: Stop tha'.

Caz: :D

okay now that is really weird imagery

*Caz giggles at Beckett*

*Beckett threatens Caz with pitchfork*

Caz: Kinky.

Beckett: *raises eyebrows*

*elly bolts door*

*door bursts into flames*

elly: aww crap

*covers eyes*

Caz: Sold my soul...

Beckett: :D

beckett: *owns her soul*

Caz: I'm not sure if I should be worried about this.

Beckett: Donae ye worry. We can have BBQs every day.

Caz: *eyeing smoking hair*Yes I'm sure of that.

zelenka: You're not the only one who sold your soul
oma: *hugs ascended bunny*

Caz: You sold your soul, Z? I thought you didn't like Oma.

zelenka: it was stolen from me

oma: rightfully mine via your lack of prenup

zelenka: *mockingly* via my lack of prenup

Caz: *to Beckett* Do we have a prenup?

beckett: *plays with caz's soul*

Beckett: Can't call it stealing if it was given to me.

caz: STOP THAT!

Caz: Play with me instead.

Beckett: As ye wish.

*rodney and ba'al turn to elly*

*elly plays with the six or seven sould floating above her head*
rodney: this is NOT good
ba'al: she's even got my host soul!

*Beckett arranges Caz's hair into horns*

*ba'al backs away*

"this is too sokarian for my liking"

Caz: *swats Beckett's hand* Oi. I like my hair the way it is.

*the horns refuse to be flattened*

*Caz pats horns on her head*
Caz: Gah.

rodney: you know water will help that

*Caz puts water on hair*

*hair steams*

Beckett: Yer hair is mine, too.

Caz: Oh dear.

zelenka: forgot to read the fine print...

Caz: Ok so now I'm the queen of the underworld...shouldn't I get an office or something?
Beckett: Who said ye were queen?
Caz: It's an assumption based on the fact that I know you extremely intimately.
Beckett: I see.
Caz: So you do.

beckett: No, i said i see - not i do

Caz: *mumbles something in his ear*
Beckett: *little wicked grin*
Caz: Right. So about that office.
Beckett: Donae push it.

*Beckett snaps his fingers*
*Caz's outfit becomes red and...interesting*
Caz: Um.
Beckett: :D
Caz: You horny devil you.

I have money to BURN

*beckett burns it*

caz: HEY! not LITERALLY

Beckett: Why not?

Caz: Cause...money...

caz: buys chocolate sauce

Beckett: Aye, this is true. *pokes Caz's horns*
Caz: Oi! I am allowed to poke yours but you can't poke mine!
Beckett: But yer hair -
Caz: Is yours. Right.

*Zelenka pats hair sorrowfully*

*oma strokes it*

*Beckett nibbles Caz's hair*
*Caz glares*
*Beckett murmurs sweet nothings in her ear*
Caz: Ok it's just creepy when your devil husband suggests burning people on a romantic date.

zelenka: why oh why didn't i take the green pill

Daniel: Green pill?

zelenka: which dimension do you live in pal

daniel: ah, this one?

zelenka: my point exactly

oma: *to daniel* you want one?

*offers him green and red pill*

Daniel: Which one helps me escape?

*daniel opens mouth and points oddly*

daniel: according to logic, isn't this a catch 22

zelenka: no you moron, take the green pill

oma: *oma growls*

*daniel takes the red one and yelps as morpheus appears*

daniel: oops...

this conversation scares me

sorry

in the highest degree

but I like it

Caz: So I'm confused. How does the devil get away with being an innocent teddy bear on SGA?

*rodney picks up green pill*

elly: NO! bad rodney

*Thor paints on war stripes*

*he does the haka*

bala: *raises eyebrow*

*and joins*

bala?

*they start fighting over the staff*

*staff does macarena*

*Caz and Beckett tango*

- yes, that was originally a typo but then i decided to leave it there on purpose

*bala and baal were walking one day...*

almost sounds like vala

vala: where did you think that mystery child of mine came from?

Ba'al and Vala...:o

elly: *GLARES*

*Caz tries to iron hair flat*

Caz: Ow! My horns attacked me.

*it bounces back, horns sharpened*

Caz: Beckett, darling, I can't go to school looking like this. My Christian school, or had you forgotten that?
Beckett: *sharpens his horns nonchalantly*

*Caz scratches behind his horns*

*Beckett grins happily*

*Daniel head butts Morpheus*

*elly gets all weirded out*

Morpheus: You are the chosen one - ow.

Daniel: DIE! DIE! BALDY!

*General Hammond, perturbed, wears a toupee*

*agent smith appears*

smith: MR ANDERSON

daniel* looks about* you mean me?

smith: You just won't DIE

daniel: uh oh

*Daniel gets twitchy*

*morpheus plays with pills*
trinity: STOP THAT!

Ford: Dude, this is why you have no hair. You take too many pills.

Morpheus: I like your hair.

smith: I took both pills and i'm just fine

Ford: White trash.
Morpheus: !!!

ford: Dude, you are far from fine

Morpheus: I am not white trash!

Ford: In the real world...

daniel: he's kind of an off brown

*Ford snorts a cat*

morpheus: silent bunny boy

daniel: *points at zelenka* that's bunny boy

Zelenka: *nose twitches*

*Zelenka eats carrot*

morpheus: my mistake

Caz: Ok there is bunny poo pellets on the floor.

Oma: Bad bunny!

Zelenka: *shifty*

elly: SHOO!

rodney: sizes?

elly: right you! out of the gutter!

Oma: I may have to spank my bunny.

Caz: O_O

elly: *head in hands* uh no

*rodney appears in collar*

*Zelenka screams and hides behind a lamp*

*fluffy tuft sticking out*

*thor squeezes it*

daniel: *that was wrong*

*Beckett burps, throwing out a flame over everyone's heads*

Beckett: Duck!

Caz: Roasted.

Beckett: Mmm.

*Heimdall strip teases*

*taking off skin*

Heimdall: My real name is Carmen Electra.

*Carmen Electra runs on*
Carmen: Like no. You're my evil twin sister.

Heimdall: I'm a female?

*Carmen Electra bursts into flames, screaming*

thor: i hope so

Daniel: I don't understand how they can...
Oma: Trust me, they can.

Daniel: How?

Oma: You don't want to know.

daniel: but i want to know!

*oma whispers something*

daniel: why did you have to tell me that!

nightmares! nightmares!

*scar appears on daniel*

daniel: *mutters*

*Caz head butts Beckett with her horns*

*Caz dissolves into giggles*

*caz bounces*

*Beckett patiently sits her in his lap*

*Caz bounces on his lap*

*Beckett looks around for a blanket*

*daniel wets his finger and tries to wipe scar away*

Zelenka: I think I smell something burning.

*his tail is on fire*

Zelenka: TAIL!?!

Narrator: Don't look at me. I didn't put it there.

zelenka: *swears and hops*

daniel: *points and laughs as another scar appears*

*replicator walks past carrying blue pills with a sign saying: "Salvation this way"*

*Beckett smites replocator*

*replicator laughs at replocator*

*replicator cares not for lesser demons*

*Beckett pokes tongue out*

*Caz...does something with aforementioned tongue*

*replocater gets offended and walks off with red pills*

"This way to hell"

Beckett: Home sweet home.

Oma: Decent prices there.

zelenka: MY TAIL IS ON FIRE MY TAIL IS ON FIRE PAY SOME FRAKKING ATTENTION TO ME

Oma: Aww my bunny is on fire.

Zelenka: PUT IT OUT SOMEONE

beckett: it's hell, everything's on fire

Caz: Even the sales.

Oma: *pats Z's burning bottom*

smith: shameless

*omoroca appears*

*omoroca rocksa*

bob: who are you?
smith: I am smith. Who are you oh off blue one?
bob: I am steve.
steve: and i am bob
bob&steve: and we are smith
smith: *is a little weirded out*

Sheppard: *appears wearing sunnies*

*o'neill appears and takes them back*

o’neill: fly boy, how many times have i told you, "CAN"T TOUCH THIS!"

*beware the x-ray vision of the devil*

Narrator: I said nothing.

*Caz grabs Beckett's pitchfork*

*shuffles bales of hay*

*hay explodes in flames*

*the staff gets jealous*

*staff eyes pitchfork*

*the staff wants to be grabbed*

*pitchfor...WTF ELLY LOL*

*pitchfork eyes staff*

LMAO

this is too scary!

so up the rating

this seems to be late nights... :S

"up the rating" latenight?

it's not our usual setting tho lol

or is it...

*Beckett has um...horns*

well, see it's really an in house costume party for thor's 5000th and beckett got to choose the decor

thor: how nice of you to consider my complexion

*Caz looks at Beckett's glowing form*
Caz: I hope so.

*glares*

*Beckett head butts Caz with horns*
Caz: OI! Only I can do that.

Heimdell: Devil mating habits...

*Ori slinks over to Vala*

*Ori head butts Vala*

thor: can we go roast the bunny already?

Zelenka: :O

ba'al: i wanna pin his tail first

Zelenka: I am a protected species!

oma: all in good time

zelenka: :O

*hides behind couch with singed tail sticking up*

*thor squeezes it again*

Heimdall: squeezy!

*Fraiser floats past, eating wabbit*

* a syringe follows close by a pair of white gloves*

Zelenka: *nervously flattens tail*

Elmer Fudd: Be vewy vewy quiet.

*beckett puffs off a flame ring*

*flame ring burns a hole through...*

*the moon*

*moon humping wraith appear*

bob and steve: WE LIKE THE MOON

*smith backs away*

smith: i don't like this game anymore

*these sunglasses will self destruct to 10 seconds*

Narrator: What happened to 7?

*a black cat walks passed twice*

oma: eh, glitch

*boom*

elly: frak this shit! *pushes pause button*

O_O

*the explosion pauses*

Daniel: That wasn't a very loud explosion.

elly: hey cool! *rewind*

*elly turns up volume*

BOOM

BOUM

*steps it forward*

oma: QUIT IT!

*Boum is a latin word meaning*

you screwed up lol

Yes.

Perhaps.

*bruce willis pops by* BIG BADDA BOOM

Ba'al: Boum, Nuby. Boum.

Nuby: ALL HAIL ANUBIS!

*Nuby explodes*

BW: BIG BADDA BOOM

hey!

elly: *REWIND*

Nuby: ow...

*Nuby's guts reappear*

Caz: ewwwwww

Caz: It's like that film I saw backwards of maggots eating a mouse.

Bob: *perks up, interested*

*elly changes the room so that it turns pink with pink flames*

*Beckett GROWLS*

ba'al: *goes all glossy*

*Beckett's hair is now pink*

*a ring of red flames surrounds the Beckettses*

*Beckett swats at pink hair*

*elly grins wickedly holding her pink staff*

rodney: where'd she get that?

*Caz sees Wolverine walk past*

*Wolverine lights cigar on ring of flames*

Wolverine: G'day.

ba'al: the staff or the wolf?

i have to go to bed

*Beckett throws Caz over his shoulder*

*the room turns pink*

*Beckett growls*

*elly grins*

Beckett: Yer lucky we're going home or I'd SMITE ye.

that's all folks

Caz: Smite me, baby, smite me.

*the room vanishes*

oh mighty smiter

*bruce frowns*

*meanwhile in the underworld...Caz and Beckett experiment with someone's horn*

THE END

*Narrator glares*

THE END

END THE

THE BEGINNING

night lol

*elly pauses it*