Caz's Dinner

can't believe i have to eat that

it looks like a pile of something not right

omg i nearly disintegrated it

*bites into cauliflour* OW!

it's atomic and alive!

*crouches behind computer*

*the cauliflour rises from the bowl*

*the rice moves like maggots*

Awww not a mental image I needed

*the cauliflour *FWAPS* Caz for spelling its name wrong*

Caz: Oops. Sorry.

*the caulifloWER drips over the edge of the bowl*

*Caz looks for a way out of the study*

*SPLAT*

*Rats - the cauliflower has landed on the floor in front of the door!*

Caz: Uh oh!

Caz: I have a bad feeling about this.

Cauliflower: HyperCaz...

Caz: *looks around nervously*

omg what happend here?

Cauliflower: You have been found guilty of not eating your vegetables.

i had to drive out to the far paddock and check the fence!

and you went NUTS lmao

i wasn't finished

hmm...well I dunno what happened

*bows to linux god*

Caz: But I tried to eat you!

Cauliflower: You merely bit into me.

Caz: What are you going to do to me?

*bumps into a cauliflower*

elly: ^o)

Cauliflower: Choose your punishment - spend years making shweir vids or spend years eating vegetables.

elly: OY! you! - vegetable, um, THING

Caz: Well screw that!

*Caz dives out the window*

*she hits the security screen*

*she bounces back*

*and lands on the cauliflower*

*effectively squashing it*

Caz: Well that's over.

*the rice quivers*

*Caz eats*

THE END

Caz's AU Fic

It was dark at Atlantis.

Everyone was sleeping except the science department, the military department, the medical apartment and the civilian department.

Teyla Emmagan slept and dreamt of John Sheppard with a playboy bunny tattoo on his right shoulder blade. She didn't recognise the shape but it made her grin.

Ronan slept. He dreamt he was blowing things up.

SUDDENLY

A huge banana fell from the sky and slammed into the ocean!

!!!!!

hehehehe

nice story so far, eh?

Jonas Quinn ran past everyone's rooms banging on the doors and shouting "THE LUNCHBOX HAS LANDED!"

He was whumped by Aiden Ford who had no sympathy for a character similarly jipped.

Dr Beckett grabbed a surfboard.

And piped it.

The waves that is.

Of course this showed everyone what he sleeps in.

Or doesn't sleep in.

*waits for elly's exclamation marks*

OMG WHAT ARE YOU ON???????????

AHHH! QUESTION MARKS?

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POOR EXCLAMATION MARKS?

Beckett was not surfing alone, but that is another story.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth Weir floated up into the sky.

A chorus of flying fat almost naked Urgos starting singing: "Lizzie in the sky with Urgos."

The Head Urgo shot Rodney with an arrow.

Rodney floated up to the sky.

Elizabeth asked,

"What are you doing here?"

"Gettin' ripped," Rodney said cheerfully.

*they both looked down at the huge tidal waves from the banana*

Elizabeth frowned,

"Aren't there fornication rules of Atlantis?"

"If there were you would know," Rodney told her eagerly, "You make those rules."

Elizabeth hmmmed,

"I don't think I ever made one."

SUDDENLY

omg what is gong on??

Atlantis was wiped out from the tidal wives!

I MEAN waves! waves!

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rodney blinked.

"Oops," He said, "I did it again."

He cowered because Liz might be angry that he wiped out things again.

But it wasn't his fault.

Not sure why he was angsty.

Oh that's right.

he'd diverted the power from the shields to his fish tank

*blink*

fish????

ANYWAY

Rodney said diplomatically,

"We are the only humans left on this planet. You woman. I man."

Rodney regressed to Tarzan ways.

Tarzan was his ancestor after all.

Rodney and Elizabeth found a nice little island and began repopulating it.

They went exploring one day

and found the mainland.

The mainland was overrun by a Furling clan.

Beckett was head of the Furling Clan

okay back to beckett

with his mate Caz who was sick to death of all those Furlings

but anyway

The unnamed planet in the Pegasus Galaxy was populated by humans and Furlings and weird furry cross breeds.

Untamed on Unnamed became a hit reality TV show because Caldwell recorded everything from the Deadalus.

THE END

*applause breaks out*